I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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