That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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