Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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