I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
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It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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