If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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