i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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