I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize