just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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