Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize