Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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