Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize