He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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