I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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