So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize