Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
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I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
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Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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