Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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