I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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