I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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