Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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