Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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