What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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