if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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