Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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