i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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