Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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