I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize