your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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