I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize