the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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