I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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