She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize