If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
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So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
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He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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