i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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