I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize