Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
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Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
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I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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