We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize