The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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