So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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