You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize