I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize