Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Randomize