garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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