they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize