Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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