peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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