i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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