All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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