I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize