The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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