guys are only as good as the porn they watch
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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