It's a beautiful day for a hangover
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just had sex on a roof
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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