oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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